Recognizing the Gifts Already in Your Life

This was another post shared via an email chain.  No author was credited.  If you know the author, please let us know and we’ll be sure to give do credit.

Time to Realize:

To realize the value of a sister or brother: Ask someone who doesn’t have one.

To realize the value of ten years: Ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years: Ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year: Ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize the value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one minute: Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one second: Ask a person who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

Share your time with other people.   Acknowledge the gifts you have in the form of the people in your life.

To realize the value of a friend or family member, Think about losing one in your daily life forever.

Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

Can You Schedule Happiness?

This article showed up this week in a StumbledUpon.com search.   It was not credited to a particular author—so if you know who that might be, please let us know and we’ll add due credit.   This piece is short and a great reminder that the pursuit of happiness is a lot more simple than one might believe.   We recommend printing this and taping a copy someplace where you’ll see it often.

Daily Schedule for Happiness

After waking up:

1. Rise early.

2. Exercise or go for a walk.

3. Eat fruit.

4. Write a list of 10 things you are grateful for

5. Create and follow a “To Do” list of 5 items.

Throughout the day:

6. Give someone a sincere compliment.

7. If someone tries to engage you in gossip, then change the subject.

8. Organize your desk.

9. Complete your work on time.

10. Help someone do something.

After work:

11. Spend 30 minutes doing a hobby.

12. Clean the house for 20 minutes.

13.  Watch TV for no more than 1 hour.

14. Read for at least 30 minutes.

15. Go to bed by 10 o’clock.

Your thoughts and comments are always appreciated.

Thoughts on Happiness

Naming our publishing company, The Business School of Happiness, was not an egotistical attempt to imply that we had any real inside information on the subject of happiness.   Rather, the name was chosen to declare our public exploration of a topic that has long contributed to angst, sleepless nights, wonder, centuries of literature and an ongoing worldwide conversation among humanity.

We further opted to expose our search concerning happiness because we wanted to bust the illusion surrounding the idea that The American Dream is really sold as a measure of “success” which itself is another mega topic for discussion and has only complicated discussions for happiness, while making it more elusive due to the belief that success is an indicator or contributor of happiness.

Happiness is not determined by the amount of money or “stuff” we have.

Studies continually show that once someone acquires the basic necessities of life, additional stuff rarely translates into increased feelings of happiness over any extended period.

Happiness is usually cyclical or episodic based on our current frame of mind or outlook on our life.  The ebb and flow of the tide might be a good visual for this.

Happiness results from having more positive thoughts and feelings about our current surroundings or situation, as opposed to more negative ones.

The stress of continually pursuing, acquiring and maintaining more stuff eventually becomes counter-productive and hinders our feelings of happiness and contentment.

If we are less happy today, it is because we are finally realizing that material things will not result in ongoing feelings of happiness and we experience a void which we are seemingly unable to fill.

A feeling of gratitude, regardless of one’s actual current situation will significantly elevate feelings of happiness.  The exercise of “counting our blessings”, will always increase feelings of happiness.

Meaningful relationships and a feeling of contribution are the most significant factors in happiness.

Want to experience greater happiness?

Regardless of how busy your day, week or month is—find a way to help anyone who is in need of some help for any reason, and you’ll certainly feel happier.  Do it expecting nothing in return, maybe not even a thank you or acknowledgment.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, King Solomon teaches that people will not find the meaning of life (or happiness) through any amount of knowledge, money, material things, pleasure, work or popularity.  Millennia ago when he wrote this, others, including himself, had been trying to find meaning and happiness through material acquisition since the beginning of time.  Interestingly, we continue to do so today with the same disappointing results.  There truly is nothing new under the sun.

Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

Do It If It Can’t Be Done

A new year is a perfect time to take a personal inventory.    Here is a short essay from Paul Arden’s excellent little book titled, It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want to Be (Phaidon Books).   We highly recommend reading the whole book, but here’s a little taste of his inspirational thinking to start your new year off on the right path.

When It Can’t Be Done, Do It.  If You Don’t Do It, It Doesn’t Exist.

“A NEW idea can be either unfamiliar, silly or both.

It can’t be judged by description.  It needs to be done (made) to exist.

It is unlikely that anyone will sanction the cost of something they don’t understand, therefore you have no choice but to do it yourself.

At whatever cost.

You may have to beg, steal and borrow to get it done.  But that’s for you to work out how you do it.

It’s exciting.

It’s difficult and it’s fun.

If it was easy, anyone could do it.

The film Citizen Kane is a very good example.  It was stolen not sanctioned.

Orson Welles could not find any backers, but he did raise a small sum for casting.

He begged, borrowed and cajoled people into building sets and shooting full-blown screen tests which eventually formed a third of the film.

IT EXISTED.

Backers could see what they were getting.   He got the money.

Without him doing it when it supposedly couldn’t be done, it would be another in the endless list of ideas that never happened.”

Are you ready to start your New Year with plans that need to be materialized?

Sharing My Soul’s Garden with You

The following poem is by Drusilla Burrough and is an excerpt from her forthcoming book Treasures of the Soul. Her full bio follows.

Sharing My Soul’s Garden with You

I traveled deep inside myself
To a tiny darkened room
It holds my pain from yesterday
And I guard it like a sacred tomb

I wonder why I locked it away
Instead of letting it go
I don’t remember, what’s inside
But it’s time and I need to know

I notice a room in the distance
And suddenly I am filled with fear
What if the pain is too much to bear
There’s so much from so many years

I stand, for what seems like forever
Holding a key made of light and truth
It was given to me by the angels
Long ago, in my innocent youth

I slowly and carefully open the door
And hesitantly walk inside
At first all I see is darkness
Until I look with my inner eyes

I am immediately struck with wonder
It is not what I expected to see
All around me, a landscape of beauty
My spirit feels peaceful and free

In this room is a beautiful garden
Every pain, now a beautiful flower
All the tears I shed helped them to grow
Gently falling like a warm April shower

Each time I learned from adversity
My garden was more filled with life
The light of my soul was its sunshine
Its food was my trials and strife

As I look at the majesty before me
I can see how much I have grown
I am thankful for all of my suffering
And this miracle I have been shown

Perhaps, I would never have discovered
This beautiful magical place
If so many had not come into my life
And shared their soul’s embrace

So I invite you into my garden
Lay gently down by the stream
Let the scent of the flowers consume you
As you close your eyes and dream

“I truly believe that by sharing with each other our sacred life stories, our discovered wisdom, and our remembered truth, we will surely become a unifying force for Divine Love and our precious world will finally know real peace. I believe!”

About The Author
Drusilla Burrough is a licensed massage therapist who has been working in the Long Island New York area for the last fifteen years. Her work in the field as well as her difficult life circumstances have led her to develop amazing gifts of spiritual sensitivity as well as an ability to reach beyond the earthly veil to that which can’t be seen, felt or heard with our physical senses. Her writing style and unique content as well as her work as an Angel Therapist sends an underlying and, at times, forthright message to her readers and clients that “we are all magnificent beings of Divine light and Love created in a beautiful perfection that cannot be fully understood and embraced without remembering our authentic Divine Self.” She has dedicated her life and career to helping all those who cross her path to remember how magnificent they are and that they are absolutely, without question, “Spiritual Beings, having a human experience” and that, it is the beautiful soul or “God Part” of us all that can create miraculous wonders in our lives. It is her mission that by delivering this message, those enlightened souls who do “remember” will then go forth and help others to do the same. If you have any questions, thoughts or prayer requests or if you would like to share your own stories of adversity and struggles or mystical tales of love, light and inspiration please email her at drusillajbc@aol.com.

 

A Time of Giving

Today many people are unemployed and facing significant challenges.   A surprise gift, given anonymously, without any expectation of return can put anyone into the wonderment of the Christmas spirit—particularly the Giver.   Being a secret “elf” is immensely uplifting.   Gifts don’t have to be big or expensive, just well-intended.

Toy drives will still be ongoing for the next few days.   Children don’t get to choose their parents or their circumstances.  An unexpected gift at Christmas time, may be just the ray of hope a child or parent needs to keep going forward in a positive and constructive way.   Here’s a little excerpt from UP by George Matthew Adams, originally published in 1920.   The essay fits this holiday week quite well.

Do You Like Surprises?

Exciting and thrilling as life may be made, and as it is to many who make it so, still there creeps into all our lives a kind of dull monotony at times that is anything but cheerful.

It is then that life’s little surprises count for much.

For surprises stimulate, arouse interest and awaken us all.  They tell us how to start new trails.  They suggest ways to get out of our small selves.  They prod.  They lift.

Have you not often noted the sparkle and brightness that has lightened the face of one ill, when an unexpected gift of flowers came to the room?   And the letter from one long absent—what a surprise of cheer!

But to none could so warm a surprise of happiness come as to YOU who could cause the surprise.

Do you like surprises?   Then give them to others.   Strew them everywhere you go.  When you get most alone in feeling and in spirit, think out some surprise for someone who would the least expect it from you.   Then watch the wondrous “troops of beautiful, tall angels” joining you in your walk.

Remember, too, that you are able to surprise yourself.   For it is the daily individual surprises that create a desire on your part to give to others what you have first given to yourself.

See whom you can surprise today!

Please give what you can to those less fortunate than you this holiday season.

Networked Companies Boost Their Bottom-line: The Case for the Social Workplace

Employees are in need of a pick-me-up:  In a recent article from the Huffington Post, psychologist Douglas LaBier cites a study which found that nearly a quarter of workers around the world are depressed, with people’s experience at work cited as the primary source of depression. In fact, 92% of those surveyed linked the state of their mental health to their job. LaBier also points to a ComPsych survey that associates two-thirds of employees with unprecedented levels of stress, with 29% feeling so stressed that they’re often unable to be effective at all, during the workday.

These statistics paint a grim picture of ailing workplaces filled with unhappy workers.  How does this affect an organization’s bottom-line — and what can be done to change it?

The first step toward healing and optimizing these environments is to rethink companies as networked communities of information, people and relationships — not merely isolated parts and bodies.  But why should employers care about these internal networks? Rob Cross and Andrew Parker, in The Hidden Power of Social Networks, argue that the benefits and urgency of recognizing and investing in these networks are two-fold: 1) there is diagnostic value in understanding how the organization functions and how work is (or is not) completed, and 2) performance, learning, and innovation are all affected by how network connectivity is designed and managed — all of which has a direct result on the company’s bottom-line.

Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler, authors of Connected, argue that networks are dynamic — not static.  By identifying their human social hubs, companies can spread information and ideas more efficiently, strategically affecting and reaching more individuals within the company, while simultaneously ramping up their organizational happiness quotient.  This sort of networked approach to organizational functioning demonstrates the interrelated triangularity between the social workplace, profitability, and employee happiness.  What’s more, happiness is actually contagious within these organizational networks:  make one employee happy, and colleagues three degrees away will likely be happier, too.

Social connection doesn’t just make us happier — it makes us better workers. Studies show that positive employees outperform negative employees in terms of productivity, sales, energy levels, turnover rates, and healthcare costs. According to Shawn Achor, Harvard researcher and author of The Happiness Advantage, optimistic sales people outperform their pessimistic counterparts by up to 37%. People who expressed more positive emotions while negotiating business deals did so more effectively and successfully than those who were more neutral or negative. The benefits can be seen across industries and job functions — even doctors with a positive mindset are 50% more accurate when making diagnoses than those that are negative.

This isn’t to say that organizations should encourage endless water cooler conversations, but rather foster a balance of individual and group activities.  A workplace behavioral study found that social connections at work lead to workers who are more individualized learners, committed to personal efficiency and the cultivation of their skill sets. Christakis and Fowler explain how discovery and innovation is tied to groups, rather than individuals, and that collaboration is almost a prerequisite for majors breakthroughs. Inter-departmental knowledge sharing and collaboration boosts the overall level of organizational acumen and expertise, especially when companies take the time to invest in workplace strategies that balance the cultivation of social relationships and networking with isolated, focused work.

A recent IBM study of “social capital” among technology consultants found that connections can actually be monetized; the more socially connected an employee, the better they performed. Every email contact was valued at an additional $948 in revenue –  further proving the power (and profitability) of connection.  And yet, the slow creeping of social media into workplaces has been met with greetings ranging from complete banishment to warm welcoming. As workers, we have been conditioned to compromise “face-time” for “focus,” and to generally underestimate the extent that our “social portfolios” contribute to our value to the company, as well as the company’s worth.  Quite simply, the idea of connectivity and social capital is one that is yet to be fully recognized — or tapped into.

The growth of social business software, like IBM Connections and Jive, and interaction design tactics, like gamification and digital community building may be foreign to most workplaces, but the tide is turning. These technical tools — in conjunction with strategic community building and optimized workspace spatial design are rapidly becoming integral to the health of a company.  The value of socialization in the workplace is rooted in this sort of innovation and cross-disciplinary pollination, and its direct link to organizational happiness.

The statistics on workplace unhappiness demonstrate that employees are hungry for this type of change — now it’s time for management to recognize the link between happiness and the bottom-line.  A happy workplace is a profitable workplace.  And that’s something we can all smile about.

Nicole Skibola and Anna Akbari, PhD are the co-founders of Bricoler, a consultancy dedicated to creating more social workplaces and building communities, both online and offline.

Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

Beauty from Struggle

This is a short, edited essay by an unknown author that appeared on an internet site called “I Love Me”.

One day, as a young woman sat in her garden, she noticed a cocoon hanging from a nearby branch.

Before long, a small opening appeared in the cocoon. The woman watched for several hours as the butterfly within struggled to free itself from the envelope in which it had recently been transformed.

Then, it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if the butterfly had gotten as far as it could and it could not go any further.

So the woman decided to help the butterfly: she took a pair of scissors and cut open the cocoon, from which the butterfly then emerged easily.

But, to the woman’s surprise, the butterfly didn’t fly away. Instead it crawled out onto the branch and sat there. As the woman looked more closely, she noticed the butterfly’s body was withered, its wings were tiny and shriveled.

The woman continued to watch because she expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand sufficiently to support the butterfly’s body.

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a withered body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly…

What the woman, in her kindness and her goodwill did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening, were Nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

If life was without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we can be; possibly unable to fly.

Ask for Strength ……. and expect difficulties to make you stronger.
Ask for Wisdom…….. and expect problems to solve.
Ask for Prosperity…… and use your brain and brawn to work.
Ask for Courage…….. and welcome obstacles to overcome.
Ask for Love ……….. and see all the troubled people that need your help.
Ask for Favors………..and see opportunities everywhere.

As someone once said, “I received nothing that I wanted… But everything that I needed.”

Live life without fear, confront all obstacles and know you can overcome them.

Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

Loving What You Do

There are so many books and articles about doing what you love.   Many of them talk about how we all have to change the present and look to some elusive future event to finally start enjoying our daily work.  Here, we propose, the world, and your personal sense of happiness, might be better and more interesting if instead we all started to work on loving what we do.

There are four grocery stores all within 15 minutes from my home.   Yet, I travel almost 30 minutes to get to my favorite store for our fruits and vegetables.  It’s not as if the produce is that much better or even different.  Yet, everything at this particular store just seems more inviting and somehow tastier.

I’ve always exchanged a cordial hello with Mike, the produce manager.  This morning though, we had a little chat.  It started with talking about the uncharacteristically warm weather and that it was perfect for a nice run or a long walk.   Then, we moved on to how ski season was right around the corner.   I commented that clearly he was lean, obviously exercised and that he looked like he took good care of himself.   He told me that the majority of his diet consisted of lots of vegetables and fruits.   He kind of chuckled to himself as he shared this information:  He’d been produce manager for twenty years, always primping the aisle.   Then, one day he realized that he loved eating those fruits and vegetables, and they made him feel great.   I complimented him, feeling grateful that I was one of the lucky recipients of his care and attention that was consciously or unconsciously rooted in his knowledge that the produce helped deliver better health and wellbeing.

Outside of Grand Central Station there is a shoe polishing stand.   I had some extra time last week and decided I’d try a new experience.   I sat down and submitted to my first ever shoe-shine on the street.   My shiner’s name was “Street.”   He proceeded to tell me all kinds of jokes and stories for the next 10 minutes while he worked.  With tremendous pride, Street shared a magazine article that featured him and letters written by many of his appreciative “regulars” during his 40 years, working the same booth in the same spot.   I walked away with shoes that looked brand new and a lighter heart thanks to the conversation whereby Street told me how grateful he was to all his customers.

The theme at a local school is “Be in the Moment.”   The Headmaster recently invited the community to a school performance.  He opened the event by giving a talk about the importance of fully participating in whatever you are doing at any given moment.   (Maybe he was hinting that he wanted us to all shut off our cellphones!)  He gave an example of a stressed out student who was trying to finish their math homework while sitting on the bench at a soccer game.   Clearly our pre-occupation with “what’s next” or “something else” can start early.

As you read these examples, can you imagine what your life might be like if you decided to be in the moment and love whatever you are doing today?   The worst that can happen is your day will fly by, you will probably be smiling, others might notice your ability and commitment, and you could feel a renewed sense of pride and personal worth.   Not a bad trade off.

You can be in the moment and love what you do.  Why not give it a try?   You might find that your day gets better, your mood improves, your heart lightens and your spirit soars.   Even better—you’ll set a great example for others.

Your thoughts and comments are always welcome.

Cultivating Gratitude

A friend of ours is a linesman for the National Hockey League.   He spends a lot of time on the road going from game to game.   He has a lovely wife who is a teacher and three very active children.   Life is busy.

Like any couple, they have their challenges.   Several years ago, he shared some very thought provoking relationship advice that he said he learned from one of the referees:  Before allowing himself to critique his wife out loud, he must mentally list forty things he loves about her.   40!  Can you imagine?

He admits he doesn’t get to 40 too often, but it does help him keep his criticism to himself and re-frames his thinking to the fact that he does love his wife.

So, why do we share this?

First off it is a good exercise for any of us to practice in any relationship whether with a partner, children, family members, boss, co-workers, clients and basically else you ever encounter.   Most likely, as hard as it may be to believe, no one is really trying to purposely annoy you, no matter how it feels.   We are all just humans be-ing and trying to navigate the curves on the road of life.

Second, we share this because although commercial America would like you to believe Thanksgiving is about turkey, it’s really about giving thanks and being grateful for what you do have.

According to Wikipedia, gratitude means appreciation, acknowledgement, grace, gratefulness, honor, indebtedness, obligation, and thankfulness.

Any and every relationship will improve when we show we are grateful for being a part of it.   Today, maybe you can practice counting before criticizing.   It’s a first great step to really experiencing the stress reducing and happiness increasing effects of practicing gratitude.

Your thoughts and comments are welcome.